Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
