yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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