i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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