Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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