I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
