i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
