remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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