i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
