was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
