mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
