ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's Friday. Sex?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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