And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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