Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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