I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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