I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
