I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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