Are we in a gay sports bar?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
