so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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