Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
