bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
