We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
