So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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