Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
