dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
