i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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