Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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