i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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