I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
