Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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