herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
