I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
