so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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