she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
