No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
