It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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