i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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