what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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