I showed him my bush... on skype.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
