you traded sex for a burrito?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
