Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
