all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
