Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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