Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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