so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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