i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
