Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
