so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
