So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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