I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
