I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
soo... how was my night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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